The pain in my back is excruciating. I cry for help. Silence. The pain subsides. I feel weak. Two minutes later the pain is back and it’s agonising. My body begins to feel weaker as the torture increases.
This is my story of the journey with the hidden baby.
It’s 9:55pm on a frosty, cold Friday night and I am lying in bed. It’s dark, and there’s nothing but complete silence. So quiet that you would be able to hear a pin drop to the hard, icy floor. I look down to my stomach and see a big round shape, not unlike a watermelon. Strangely, it begins to move in all directions.
One beige morning I wake up at 1:30am and feel a cringe in my belly. It feels as though I have drunk alcohol and my liver can’t manage it. I feel sick as if I’ve been on a roller coaster fifteen times. What is this multi-coloured queasiness I’m feeling?
Morning sickness.
I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I’ve lost texture in my skin. I have bags under my eyes the size of the moon, goosebumps on my body and the face that comes with a hangover. Morning sickness is my new weakness.
Now I’m six months pregnant and girls at school are starting to say “Is she pregnant, or just fat?” They are afraid to come and ask me, because what if I’m not pregnant? Then they would feel bad about hurting my feelings.
Three more months and my secret would be revealed.
The pain in my back is excruciating. I cry for help. Silence. The pain subsides. I feel weak. Two minutes later the pain is back and it’s agonising. My body begins to feel weaker as the
torture increases.
The secret is no longer going to be hidden.
The sound that echoes in my ears is like a water bomb being thrown onto concrete from six flights of stairs. I’m being rushed to the hospital bed. The pain has increased rapidly. The feeling of having to push is traumatic.
Help.
And then, suddenly, a new baby boy is being put on my chest. The emotions are coming rapidly to me, all at once. Happiness and relief. My secret has been revealed and I no longer have to keep it. Pheonix Shawn Augusitino Lesa has now come out of hiding.
Darian